Hi, I am a woman and I'm worrying about my HIV status from a possible exposure from a few months ago. I had sex with an Asian man I didn't know well and I didn't know his HIV status. I believe he didn't know his own status either. He gave me unprotected oral sex, I think I also gave him unprotected oral, and then we used condom for vaginal intercourse. He told me he didn't ejaculate (I was a bit drunk at the time, and I can't remember well). He had some red spots on his back, which looked like insect bites? (I didn't ask him). The incident was in New Zealand. After the incident, I think I had a swollen lymph node on my neck for a few days (I can't remember exactly when this occurred) which I didn't really pay any attention to. A month or so after this, I had HIV test and STDs check, all cleared. I didn't pay any more attention to the issue until now. I don't know why but I've been worrying about it lately. And I've been feeling quite tired and have no energy to do anything. What is my chance of catching HIV? I'm not living near an NZAF center but in a small town, and have family working in the health sector so I prefer not to worry them unnecessarily by turning up for a HIV test. Is the home kit test safe and accurate to use? Like the Ez-trust rapid test? It is said to be ISO and GMP certified. I'm talking about the accuracy of the result provided (I'm well over the 3 months window period). Because if the result is positive, I would definitely turn up for another professional test at a health provider. But if it's negative, I don't want to worry anyone else. Please advise me what should I do, I'm really worried.
Hi there, thanks for your question. From what you've described, it doesn't sound like your risk factor would have been very high at all from that incident. Oral sex carries a very, very low risk of HIV transmission, and condoms are 95% effective at preventing the onward transmission of HIV. So there's statistically only a the slimmest chance that you would have had the opportunity from that night to be infected. It's great that you took an HIV test afterwards but because it was within the three month window period we always recommend coming back for a second, conclusive test after this time frame. Again, the chances of you having contracted HIV are very, very slim but we can see why that feeling of not being 100 per cent sure is causing you a bit of ongoing concern.
The NZAF doesn't endorse any home testing kits. The ones currently available are not Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved or World Health Organisation (WHO) recommended, meaning there is no authorised guarantee of quality or accuracy, so unfortunately we can't recommend one to you.
Even if you're not close to any NZAF center, you can talk to any one of our counsellors from our network of contracted counsellors around New Zealand who can offer our rapid HIV test services outside of the main cities. You can book this online or call us. Our staff are very professional and offer the rapid test as a free, confidential and (if need be) anonymous service. If you're feeling really anxious about your experience then you can also chat to someone through our phone counselling services - this would provide you anonymity and the ability to chat to someone from the comfort of your own home.
Hope this information helps.
I was very drunk and had unprotected sex (oral and vaginal) with a girl at brothel. After 2 days I'm having a running nose and sore throat... not heavy but slight. I asked the girl if she was safe, she said yes and also I didn't cum inside her. I'm getting worried about HIV.
Hi. The risk of HIV transmission via oral sex is extremely low. There is an enzyme in saliva that acts as a natural defense to HIV. The risk of transmission would only increase if HIV infected semen carrying a high viral load came into contact with open or bleeding cuts in the mouth. Unprotected vaginal sex does carry a risk of HIV transmission (the virus can enter through vulnerable skin cells under the head of the penis); although the risk is lower for the insertive partner than the receptive partner. It's likely that your cold symptoms are not related to HIV, but if you would like to be sure then the best thing to do is to get an HIV test. At NZAF, the test is free and you can book online or call us on 0800 80 2437 to book. It's also confidential and you get your results in 20 minutes. It's important to note that you do have to wait one month after suspected exposure before having the test as it can take this long for HIV to be detectable in a test.
Hi, I had sex with an Indonesian sex worker recently. During foreplay she put my penis inside her vagina without a condom and it was there for almost 4 seconds. Then I stopped her and we had protected sex. What is my chance of getting infected with HIV? She told me that she is clean and asked me whether I am. Thank you in advance.
Hi there, from what you've described your chances of being infected with HIV are low but not non-existent. There are a few things to take into account. Firstly, stopping and putting on a condom is the best thing you could have done and would have offered you the best form of protection. Secondly, to contract HIV during the time you had unprotected sex, she would have to have had a very high viral load present in her vaginal fluid, which would then have had to enter your blood stream through vulnerable skin cells under the head of the penis or through the urethra. The chances of this are low, and would only be increased if you had open wounds or sores on your penis. If you're still worried about this situation then we'd encourage you to call us at NZAF where you can have a confidential chat.
I had sex with a guy recently, we have mutual friends but only met that night. During sex, after he came, one of my nails snagged the condom and it tore. We took it off as soon as we realized and I asked him if he had been tested for HIV and other STI's recently. He said no and then had a bit of a laugh. I said it wasn't funny and he said not to worry, he hasn't slept with anyone he's known to be HIV+. What's my risk of becoming infected? Should I be tested?
You've taken all the right steps in this case, taking the condom off and asking him about his other sexual partners. There is a chance of contracting HIV as unprotected sexual intercourse is one of the main ways the virus is transferred. While he may believe he hasn't slept with anyone who has HIV he can't really know for sure because there are many people living with HIV who don't know it. We recommend coming in for an HIV test. It free, confidential, painless, and will also give you peace of mind. It is the only sure way of knowing.
I had anal sex with somebody and I was on top. The condom broke during sex and says he does not have HIV. I did not ejaculate. I am concerned that I might be exposed to infection – is this true?
Condoms can get weakened and break if you use them after their use-by date or store them near a hear source, like a room heater or candle. This weakens the latex and there is more chance that the condoms will break during sex. Condoms need to be used with a water based lube. If they're used with an oil based lube like lotion or Vaseline, they will weaken and will be prone to breaking. Making sure that you are careful to store condoms and use them the right way is important.
If the person you were having sex with has HIV, it will be present in the mucous lining of their anus and HIV can enter your bloodstream through the eye of your penis or through small cuts on the skin. If your condom broke during sex and you're concerned that you could be exposed to HIV, then the only way to find out is getting yourself tested. You can book a free rapid test at any of the NZAF centers.
Where in New Zealand can I get free condoms?
Hi, You can get free condoms from the NZAF. Our Love Your Condom team can send them to you in an unmarked envelop free of charge.
I had protected anal sex with a guy who did not know his HIV status; he did not cum at all and he was wearing a condom whilst inside me. He put lube on his penis with his hands before he inserted it. I gave him a blowjob with the condom on and a handjob, he still did not ejaculate. The condom did not break, he gave me an unprotected hand job and I came. His lips touched my penis for a second but I pulled away. What is the risk of me being exposed to HIV ?
Hi. There is absolutely zero risk of contracting HIV in the situation you've described. HIV cannot be passed on through skin to skin contact ie: from his hands or lips touching your penis. HIV can only be sexually transmitted via unprotected anal or vaginal sex or through blood to blood contact. You have absolutely nothing to worry about here.
I am looking for dental dams and cannot find them online at NZ sex-shops. Do you have any idea if there is an adult store in Christchurch which sells dental dams? Cheers!
Hi there, Family Planning sell dental dams for $3.95 each. You can either pop into the Christchurch branch of Family Planning at Level 1, 9 Washington Way, Christchurch 8142 or you can order them on their website.
I had an HIV test 3 months after I had unprotected sex with another man. The result came back negative. That was 3 months ago. Do I need another test to reconfirm? I don't want to approach my GP again as I would have to give her a reason why. I have generally been anxious and depressed for the past few months.
A HIV test doesn't test for the virus in your blood - it tests for antibodies for HIV. It is not possible to tell if somebody has contracted HIV immediately after being exposed to HIV, as sometimes these antibodies can take up to three months to appear in your blood. This is called the window period.
If you're worried about your HIV status, it's important to talk to someone. At your nearest NZAF Centre you can talk to our counsellors about all the issues you face, and get yourself tested too. The HIV test the NZAF uses gives results within twenty minutes (although we ask you to take an hour out of your schedule for the appointment). If you think you have been exposed to HIV, the test is the only sure way to know your status. You can book the test online or call NZAF.
Also, it's really important to use condoms and lube every time you have sex - they're the best way to protect yourself and your partner from the HIV. You can order free condoms and lube from our Love Your Condom team.