Jane

52, Straight, HIV Positive

I’m HIV positive.

I can say that now, but it hasn’t always been like that.

I hid it for years, trying to pass as “normal” all the while feeling like I was poisonous. I felt dirty and contagious, even a danger to society. The promise and excitement of the future I had ahead had already been stolen from me, reduced to a maximum of three years of gradual illness and death.

I contracted HIV from having sex without a condom with a boyfriend. I’d already infected another partner by the time I was diagnosed. He never spoke about it, too frightened people would think he was gay or that I was a slut. After fifteen years of shame, I decided to “come out” about being HIV positive, live on TV. It was terrifying but I felt I was finally living my life. I want that for other people living with HIV. I want a world where we don’t feel we have to hide.

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